Emotions & Other Representations In My Art

I have struggled to see myself in my art. I don’t know why. It’s like, I create fluffy, meaningless things that have no real meaning or depth.

But that’s not true, like, at all.

Over the last few years of more consistent art practice, I’ve seen more of myself in my work, but not just for new work. I can even see myself a lot in my old work. I’ve always been there, even if my perception was blind to it.

I think my problem is that my “visual language” isn’t overtly negative or depressing, even though I have often felt negative and depressed. The art I create seems so much more positive or beautiful or just anything but depressed. Why am I so enamored with the idea of visualizing my darkness?

But depression and dark things aren’t the only things that I feel.

This is the constant conflict I feel in my choice of subjects and themes. I want to express this darkness I feel but can’t seem to actually do it. Why do I keep trying? It’s like it needs to get out, but I won’t let it.

This is why I wanted to create the Commonalities In My Art page and the accompanying Art World Insights page, so I could visually see these connections I never have before.

Updates

08/06/26

I had a rough morning and was not in a good headspace. In order to try and help myself, I sat down to paint and immediately reached for bright, colorful paints. I realized the reason why I struggle to create truly dark, negative, or depressing art is because I feel so negative, dark, and depressing all the time and I feel like I exude that energy a lot so I want to try and bring brightness into my world. I live in the dark, why would I want to surround myself in it through my art?

08/14/26

Another breakthrough as I was ruminating about why I like drawing eyes so much. I’ve known for a bit that they represent attention, focus, and perception. But I realized today that I also like the fact that they creep people out, and the reason I like to creep people out is because I want them to feel uncomfortable just like how uncomfortable I am having to deal with the world with ADHD and mental illness.

I’ve also known that my confetti doodles represent the confusion of ADHD. And putting this together what I just realized above…my art (in general) seeks to have the viewer experience the same emotions I experience. Things like overwhelm, confusion, perception, anxiety, discomfort, uncanny, creepy come up a lot in my art, and I think this fall right in line with that.